Hey, everyone I've given butterfly kisses to in the last few months... hoo, wow, this is awkward. You're going to wanna get tested.

I just found out my eyelashes have crabs.

I know, I know, I promised all of you it would be safe, but it turns out I've had them for a while. I guess I got them when I gave butterfly kisses to that one toilet seat?

The good news here is that it is absolutely treatable. A series of medicated eye-shampoos and some mild waterboarding should completely remove any infestation.